Freedom and Discipline
Having emerged from perhaps the most stressful 2 month period I can ever remember, I have been challenged anew regarding the value of discipline. Those who know me well, realize that I have been moving more towards the value of freedom in my life - not being tied down by feelings of guilt, fear, or expectations of others. This has been a very good direction for me in life - yet I am finding a down side to it - namely, when I have time and space to allow my mind and heart the freedom to reflect and meditate, I feel centered and at peace. However, when life becomes stressful, when there are demands on my time and mental/emotional space, my mind is not free to wander in those areas which bring freedom and a sense of grounding in god.
I was telling a very good friend of mine the other day that I was really looking forward to July where I would have that time, space, and freedom from demands so that I could return to focusing on my inner life. As the conversation ensued, this confidante of mine challenged me to learn what it is about July that I value so much and take steps to include those values on a moment by moment basis. And, I realized that the only way to do that is by making deliberate choices through self-discipline. Oh, how I hate that.
So, I feel like I am coming full circle. We may all remember hearing in our younger years the value of spending 30 minutes in "devotions" every day. I certainly remember trying that for some time as a magic bullet - a panacea for all of life's troubles. It didn't work - and became a life of legalism. I suspect that many churchgoers struggle with this too. So, I abandoned that approach. Now, I have come to realize what intentions lie behind that daily approach. For myself, I know that I need time regularly to focus on nothing but my breath - the spirit of life in me. I need and desire to find that small voice that whispers in the midst of a cacophony of external demands. And, the challenge remains twofold for me: 1) to actually discipline myself, and 2) to do so while retaining a life of freedom.
2 comments:
What a coincidence to visit your blog today! I was just reading about routines, rituals, focused attention and creating time for renewal and recovery. It is believed that only when we free up energy do we allow ourselves to have the needed energy to focus. This freeing of energy ultimately gives us a space where relationships can be deepened and spiritual reflection is made possible. When a stable framework is created by routine, (daily activity), this creates an atmosphere where creative breakthroughs happen. Being self-disciplined to make "deliberate choices", (I like your choice of words here. Was that deliberate?) actually frees and conserves energy. Apparently, will and discipline are far more limited resources than we realize and so they must be called on selectively. Small amounts of self control take up large amounts of energy. Your thoughts around daily devotion are "freeing" to me and those words remind me that it is not how we make connections to our purpose but rather that we do so in a regular “deliberate” way. I appreciate when you say, “For myself, I know that I need time regularly to focus on nothing but my breath- the spirit of life in me.”
You need to read Rob Bell...how insightful hey?
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