Twelve Step Spirituality

At the January session of the Spiritual Director's Formation Program, of which I am a part, we heard from Archbiship Sylvain Lavoie about his work with Twelve Step programs to assist struggling addicts. And, it was more than simply talking about the value of the program for those dealing with drug and alcohol issues. Fr. Sylvain spoke clearly about the value of a twelve step approach for all who are spiritually seeking. One of his many points (and I'm sure I am doing a grave injustice to his fantastic presentation) was that each of us deals with an addiction of some kind or another. Basically, his definition of addiction was a pattern of behaviour which attempts to address a physiological or emotional need in ways which are unhealthy.

Of the twelve steps, many who begin find the first three (relatively) easy - at least compared to the following 9. The first three steps, in very simplified presentation are basically: 1) I can do nothing about my problem, 2) God can, 3) I will let him. The next 8 steps, which become quite difficult for many, all revolve, in some way, around the issue of forgiveness (says Lavoie). The steps involve recognizing deficiencies in self, understanding them, accepting them. They involve recognizing hurts from others, speaking these hurts out loud and letting them go. They involve recognizing actions with have hurt others and deliberately seeking forgiveness for them. As such, Lavoie sees this approach as being inherently Christian and spiritual in its most basic form. His suggestion is that spirtual life lived in this stance is a very rich and fulfilling life - regardless if one is an alcoholic or not.

However, he spoke quite clearly about the addictive tendencies of all humans - that we all find some way to cover up that which is deficient in our own lives in ways that exacerbate the problem and don't heal it. At this point, he made a quite provocative statement. He claimed that in the modern world, one of the most significant expressions of addiction is that of "being right". Hopefully without putting words in his mouth, I believe he was suggesting that many of us approach situations in life from a perspective that, if we can prove we are right at all times, we will be sufficient, not lacking, whole persons. To be wrong calls up pain that we can not face - so we spend significant amounts of energy in proving our "rightness" whenever we can.

I'm intrigued by his statement and wonder a couple of things. First, might this relate to Jesus' clear statements that righteousness (rightness) is to be found only in a faithful relationship to the only one who can be entirely right in the first place (i.e. God)? Second, might this be one of the reasons behind why we are such poor listeners? It seems that, while listening we tend to occupy our minds by thoughts of "How will I respond to what I am hearing?" - as opposed to simply listening for the sake of understanding. How much of our world conflict could be solved by addressing this need in a new way? How much of our church conflict? How much of our own inner turmoil? It seems to me that Fr. Lavoie offers an approach allowing for peaceful existence with those around us - as well as with our own selves.